August 27, 2011
Scars of Filigree
embodied
memories
reaching behind the past to the
present emotion
of nothing.
washed and swept out
while
leaking puss of tears,
oozing mind juice out tiny orifice pores,
and
falling
falling, falling
in and out of
here
in and out of
reality
security
consciousness
knowledge
bliss
the ultimate embarrassment
is
ecstasy
is
the unknown
is
NOW
How do you know?
anything.
what is?
nothing.
i knowness:
a spiral
path within paths and circles within circles that can never be completed or followed at once.
How do you know when you’ve really let things go?
and
where exactly does IT go to?
and
what does it become?
These things creep into the crevices of our embodiment –
oscillate from past to present, mind to body to breath-
vapor to sky
…to nothing?
emotional traces
haunt
blown away
magnetic dust.
bloodless,
painless(?)
scars of filigree
habitual phantom quivers from an age-ed truth.
A foreign language of a distant self
trompsing through the forbidden forest of fears
mirrored traps
encapsulating movements
to an endless ripple of ecstasy
*…So i think this stuff came out after Laurie Carlos’s very intense emotional workshops last month as part of the recent work with ADT and the upcoming show Tushaanal….i let it sit for a while but thought maybe i should just risk sharing it in all its meritocracy now for some reason…just to recap what she did in the workshop: basically we sat in a circle and she started by acting (expressing) an emotion to us all very intensely… then she raised her left hand as a signal that she was finished. Then whoever felt drawn to go next interpreted/embodied that same emotion wherever they were at with it and then again raised their left hand as a signal of being done with it (no one was to interact with whoever’s turn it was)…it was very intense and it felt like everything kind of oscillated in and out of actually feeling the emotion vs. forcing it and pretending… im sure it was different for everyone but this is just some of the stuff that came up for me at the time…